On the night of the last good sleep before the riots
we don’t know it will be the last good sleep.
We don’t know there will be riots. We know night,
we know end of day. We know that the huge shapes
that watch us in the dark can all be explained away.
On the night of the last good sleep before the riots
I am placed just so upon Jen’s pillow like a sprig of rosemary.
We recite the catechism of urban danger as we make love.
What do I do?, I ask, and she replies, First thought best thought.
Her fingers curl around me, I hold on to her thumb.
In between kisses, she asks: what are the three reactions?
My finger fits perfectly in the creases of her puckered lips.
The three reactions are fight, freeze, or flight.
All are valid reactions. Commit to them immediately.
Her teeth are white stone tablets. We don’t know
this is the last good night. Outside in the dark the shapes
roar and howl and whoop accusations at each other.
Her lips make a ticking sound as they open. Her tongue rests
heavily on her bottom teeth before pressing forward.
What must I know? I ask, and her breath settles on me
in a cloud of knowledge. Know who knows what the plan is, she says.
Her tongue hesitates as it considers my body. And? I ask
as I reach to hold it to me, impossible on the face of it, and yet
I am impossible, this is impossible, that there might be a last good night
is impossible, and yet, and yet this is the last good night
and we don’t know it, all we know is what we have memorized
with our brains and our bodies, our exponentially dissimilar bodies.
Know where the exits are and how you will get to them, she says,
sliding my body down to her breast where I am set
astride her nipple. What are the three rules of comedy? she asks
as I feel her gather and swell between my thighs,
I take a breath and begin to speak and she says, timing.
I know this part is long. I know it is so long, and I know
the timing is flawed, and I know that this is the last good night
and they do not. I know who I am and I know who ‘I’ am
and I know what happens next and I know that I am no explorer
because God dammit, I know what happens next I know
where we are. I know I know I know. I’m just making a map.
Size Writes 